We often express deep sympathy for some of us who have not received a return. They are often negative types of people, such as people with high morality or narcissism, who use our goodwill for their own wishes. In the depths of our thoughts, we only think that if we treat them kindly and express our goodwill to them, they will treat us better and even change their behavior towards us. But the truth is that people don't change overnight.
We may find ourselves a selfish partner, and even if our partner is difficult, some of us may find it more difficult to leave this hurtful relationship. Everyone around us has told us to stand up for ourselves and even criticize how weak and stupid we are, because we insist on this hurtful relationship, and even accuse it is actually going to be seriously damaged. But no one likes to be badly damaged. It's so hard to leave because even though it hurts, some of us may find it familiar. Our lack of understanding leads us to stick to it. Just because we are afraid to leave. We have other things now, mainly because we are afraid of things we are not familiar with.
Studies have shown that we are attracted to what we are familiar with, and only contact can affect our attitude towards certain people. For example, if you grow up with a high-temperament parent, you will often find a partner with temperament problems. Not because you consciously find them attractive, but because you unconsciously realize their familiarity. This is our subconscious mind, and we are not aware of making such a choice. Good or bad, our subconscious minds will keep us in this relationship, because they feel that this relationship is comforting.
Some people may think that this is a promise and love that will keep you with a harmful partner. But you must understand the difference between love and familiarity. Both are comfortable, but there are huge differences. Familiar, you will feel comfortable because you are used to it and have developed the ability to handle it. You have learned how to survive, you just ignore some harmful truths and turn to the fact that you should actually get better. You find yourself in trouble because you are too comfortable in the comfort zone. You think it will be harder to live outside your circle, and you may be hurt more.
The comfort given by love is different. You feel comfortable with your partner, not only because of how kind, compassionate, and loving you are, but also because your partner makes you feel comfortable and confident. You love his partner because of what he is and how he feels your overall feeling. Your heart is full of humility. This comfort is simple but hard to feel because it is rare. If you feel this way to someone, you may feel love.
In order to find the comfort that only love can give, first you must let yourself realize that what you have now is familiar or loved. If you continue to fall into the same hurt relationship, don't blame yourself. Remember, you can't control what you don't know. The important thing is that you can see the patterns that your subconscious mind lets you choose and learn from.
It may be difficult to give up the familiar feeling chain at first, and some things may be strange to you. But let the stranger get along with you. Because soon you will realize that you will be happier without your hurt partner. Then you can decide who you really want and who you really deserve. Let the fear pass and let yourself get rid of the shackles of the past.
Orignal From: Between love and familiarity
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